Bridges: Cannot Burn Then How?

Friday, 3rd April 2026

In my previous 2 posts, I spoke first about how people left their previous churches very decisively (and oftentimes acrimoniously), effectively burning their bridges behind them.

I then followed that up by saying that we who are part of the Body of Christ should not do so because we are cutting our nose to spite our face, as it were.

Truth be told, I very much had wanted to do the same thing (ie. burn the bridge) when I went to see Rev Dr Jonathan Seet (who was the then Pastor-in-Charge of Paya Lebar Methodist Church) sometime in January 2018, when my wife and I finally made the decision to leave PLMC to join New Creation Church because the Theme for that year, Hesed Wisdom, resonated greatly with her.

In his wisdom, Rev Jon Seet told me not to transfer my membership.  Firstly, he said that Methodist churches operate under an itinerant system whereby pastors come and go.  Secondly, NewCre does not require any official "transfer of membership" letter from the previous church (some churches do so because they want to ensure that the previous church pastor has officially released that member from his coverage).

Rev Jon told me that just the month before I went to see him, a fellow member had insisted, against his advice, on transferring her membership out from PLMC to NewCre to follow the footsteps of her 2 children.  [I have been informed that she has since returned to PLMC after her own children moved on from NewCre to Kingdom City.  Some pastors can insist on such ex-members re-taking membership classes, not sure if she had to do so...]

Back to my meeting with Rev Jon.  I also shared with him my predicament about not being able to "pull" my daughter along with us to NewCre because at that point in time, she was actively serving in the Young Adult ministry and was also seeing a boy from PLMC.  Rev Jon replied that she, being an adult, (she was about to turn 22) had the right to make her own decision.  I countered that I was still giving her a hefty monthly allowance, and if she did not obey me and come along with us, I would cut it off.  Rev Seet smiled knowingly and said, " I don't think that you, as her loving father, would do that."

He was right.  I didn't.

Fast forward, and my daughter married that boy 6 years later, on 21 September 2024. In PLMC.  I walked her down the aisle.

And she is now even more actively involved in PLMC!  <--- Will come back to this point in a future post.

So what did I do after that meeting with Rev Jon?  I worked on my son.

Back then in 2018,  he would typically play online soccer games late into the night on Saturdays and wake up late on Sundays, typically missing church service altogether.

That same week, a few days after my meeting with Rev Jon, I told my boy, "Son, why not you come with us to Great World City this coming Sunday to attend service in the aircon comfort of Golden Village cinema?  After service, I treat you to a sumptuous lunch."

Call it bribery but it worked. He bit the bait and came with us.  For 2 consecutive Sundays.

And then he stopped.

I asked feedback from him as to why.  He said he preferred expository-styled sermons, whereby the pastor would systematically cover the Bible book by book, chapter by chapter, verse by verse.  Ps Prince typically jumps from the New Testament to the Old, and then back to the New, effectively linking the passages in the light of the person of Jesus and His finished work on the cross, and I enjoy seeing how that single scarlet thread weaves its way through the Bible.

But not everyone appreciates that, and I appreciate my boy for at least giving it a shot. It was 2 shots in fact.

Fast forward to today, and he currently works in and attends a Brethren church located nearby, which is very strong in the expository of the Bible. Sometime in 2021, he transferred his membership out from PLMC because his current church requires that above-mentioned official letter of release.  But to his credit, he still keeps in touch with his peers from PLMC and did not burn any bridges.

So cannot burn, then how?

Well, I found this quotation online and it is really apt.

In the next posts, I will conclude this series on the topic of bridges, so stay tuned!